Will the world get a sad poop emoji? Or just a shithole?

Vomit.

Poop.

Shit.

It’s everywhere.

And biological.

In Christchurch, New Zealand, vomit and fecal contamination has forced the closure of Christchurch’s public pools 178 times during 2017.

The Christchurch City Council has taken steps to reduce closures across its three indoor facilities. This has led to a 20 per cent drop in closures this year compared to 2016 when the pools were closed 224 times.

Pioneer pool in Spreydon was the hardest hit, experiencing 79 closures, including 50 “code browns” and 26 vomiting incidents. Pioneer pool was closed 93 times in 2016.

Most incidents happened in the leisure pool, which was closed 52 times, followed by the teach pool with 20 closures.

With those kind of numbers, should there be a sad poop emoji to go with the smiling pile of poop emoji?

Barbara Ortutay of USA Today reports that the Unicode Consortium is tasked with setting the global standard for the icons. It’s a heady responsibility and it can take years from inspiration — Hey, why isn’t there a dumpling? — to a new symbol being added to our phones.

That’s because deciding whether a googly-eyed turd should express a wider range of emotions is not the frivolous undertaking it might appear to be. Picking the newest additions to our roster of cartoonish glyphs, from deciding on their appearance to negotiating rules that allow vampires but bar Robert Pattinson’s or Dracula’s likeness, actually has consequences for modern communication.

Not since the printing press has something changed written language as much as emojis have, says Lauren Collister, a scholarly communications librarian at the University of Pittsburgh.

“Emoji is one way language is growing,” she says. “When it stops growing and adapting, that’s when a language dies.”

So full congrats to the New York Daily Post, whose front-page this morning slammed the immigration comments of so-called U.S. President Donald Trump with an appropriate emoji of its own.

According to the Washington Post, which first reported the story, President Trump grew frustrated with lawmakers Thursday in the Oval Office when they discussed protecting immigrants from Haiti, El Salvador and African countries as part of a bipartisan immigration deal, according to several people briefed on the meeting. 

“Why are we having all these people from shithole countries come here?” Trump said, according to these people, referring to countries mentioned by the lawmakers.

Trump then suggested that the United States should instead bring more people from countries such as Norway, whose prime minister he met with Wednesday. The president, according to a White House official, also suggested he would be open to more immigrants from Asian countries because he felt they help the United States economically.

In addition, the president singled out Haiti, telling lawmakers that immigrants from that country must be left out of any deal, these people said.

“Why do we need more Haitians?” Trump said, according to people familiar with the meeting. “Take them out.” 

George Washington said in 1783, “The bosom of America is open to receive not only the opulent & respectable Stranger, but the oppressed & persecuted of all Nations & Religions; whom we shall wellcome to a participation of all our rights & privileges” (except for colored people which was sorta dumb).

Maybe Jimmy Buffett got it.

Buffet’s 1978 album, Son of a Son of a Sailor, was one of the first 8-tracks I bought while on vacation in Florida when I was 15-years-old, and it included the track Manana, which weirdly applies to Trump.

She said I can’t go back to America soon

It’s so goddamn cold it’s gonna snow until June

Yeah, they’re freezin’ up in Buffalo stuck in their cars

And I’m lyin’ here ‘neath the sun and the stars.

Customs man tell her that she’s gotta leave

She’s got a plan hidden up her shrewd sleeve

Wants to find her a captain, a man of strong mind

And any direction he blows will be fine.

Please don’t say manana if you don’t mean it

I have heard those words for so very long

Don’t try to describe the ocean if you’ve never seen it

Don’t ever forget that you just may wind up being wrong.

Tried and I tried but I don’t understand

Never seems to work out the way I had it planned

Hanging out at a marina when Steve Martin called

Singin’ anybody there really want to get small.

But women and water are in short supply

There’s not enough dope for us all to get high

I hear it gets better, that’s what they say

As soon as we sail on to Cane Garden Bay.

Please don’t say manana if you don’t mean it

I have heard your lines for so very long

Don’t try to describe the scenery if you’ve never seen it

Don’t ever forget that you just may wind up in my song.

Called all my friends on those cheap nightly rates

Sure was good to talk to the old United States

While the lights of St. Thomas lie twenty miles west

I see General Electric’s still doing their best.

I’ve got to head this boat south pretty soon

New album’s old and I’m fresh out of tunes

But I know that I’ll get ’em, I know that they’ll come

Through the people and places and Caldwood’s Rum

So please don’t say manana if you don’t mean it

I have done your lines for so very long

Don’t try to describe a Kiss concert if you’ve never seen it

Don’t ever forget that you just may wind up being gonged

And I hope Anita Bryant never does one of my songs.

 

Detector dogs of NZ

An older woman and her daughter have been found with a large amount of fruit in their suitcase and a sandwich in the jacket pocket at the Christchurch International Airport.

dog.mpi.nz.jun.16The cargo was effectively destroyed as fruits from other countries are likely to carry fruit fly larvae as well as other pests and diseases.

Sandwiches aren’t allowed past our borders because of the meat, the fresh veggies and the eggs, which are all considered risk items.

Wherever you arrive in New Zealand, you can count on the Quarantine Officers and the Detector Dogs to protect the borders.

NZ thieves steal 100kg of mince

Who steals hamburger, or mince as they call it down here?

who.throws.a.shoe_A man and a woman drove off with 100kg of mince from Westmeat meat suppliers in Christchurch after a new staff member loaded it into their car about 3pm on Saturday.

The staff member, in his late 20s, thought the customer had paid for the haul.

The theft was the latest in a string of thefts from Westmeat had suffered recently.

Store manager Hayden Soper said the shop had been targeted by four organised criminals “virtually stealing to order” about four or five times, two months ago. 

The thieves had made off with filet steaks hidden beneath trenchcoats and in suitcases.

But Soper suspected Saturday’s theft was opportunist.

He did not recognise the pair on the CCTV footage. “They didn’t look rough”, he said. 

Rodents roaming in NZ takeaway shop because of ‘poverty trap’

The owner of a Christchurch takeaway shop that was shut down after inspectors found “extensive rodent infestation” is blaming a “poverty trap” for the pest problem.

The takeaway was closed after a council inspection in March found it breached food hygiene regulations. The case was referred to the Ministry of Primary ratatouille..chefjpgIndustries.

The Christchurch City Council did more than 780 inspections of food premises in the city from January 1 to May 10 this year.

The senior food safety officer said the restaurant that was closed had been infested with rodents.

“There were rodent droppings everywhere. It generally needed a thorough clean. There were a lot of back rooms filled with miscellaneous stuff that didn’t really relate to the business and shouldn’t have been there.

“They hadn’t been cleaning around the junk and so it gave a nice little place for the mice to nest in.”

However, the owner of the takeaway shop said he was “caught in a poverty trap”.

“I’m going broke, I can’t afford to keep up with everything. They don’t want small businesses to survive. It all costs too much to keep going.”

Espresso machines not sufficient to boil contaminated water; be careful

Boil water advisories have dramatically improved over the past decade.

In May, 2000, E. coli O157:H7 entered the improperly chlorinated water supply of Walkerton, Ont. (that’s in Canada), sickening about half of the town’s 5,000 residents and killing seven.

Soon after a boil water advisory was issued, residents had questions, like what about brushing teeth with contaminated water, or showering? The advice was confusing.

Christchurch, New Zealand has been under a boil water advisory since the Feb. 22, 2011 earthquake. Yesterday, the Ministry of Agriculture and Forestry (MAF) reminded food businesses in Christchurch that the city-wide boil water notice also applies to coffee machines.

Coffee machines?

MAF director of compliance Geoff Allen says some businesses have been surprised to learn that the boil water notice relates to espresso machines, which are plumbed into the city water supply.

“Most of these coffee machines only heat water to 80–85°C, which is not sufficiently hot to kill off illness-causing bugs like giardia and cryptosporidium, so these machines need to be turned off or hooked up to a supply of pre-boiled water.”

He suggests that if you want to know whether your latte or long black is safe to drink, ask where the water came from. “If in doubt ask for a cup of instant or plunger coffee, where you can adequately boil the water beforehand.”

Bringing water to the boil is sufficient to kill off any bugs that are present.

A range of other machines which are plumbed into the city water supply are also affected by the boil water notice, including slush-ice makers, ice machines, postmix guns, self-service soft drink machines and some water coolers. “These machines should not be used until the boil water notice has been lifted or the water they are using has been boiled.”