Who will clean up the puke in self-driving taxis?

Canada’s Driving magazine asks: who will clean up the barf in self-driving cars?

Bloomberg reports those working for companies like Lyft and Uber are already discovering a downside of the general public that retailers and restaurateurs and hoteliers have always known. People are pigs. It makes perfect sense that the same people who use white hotel towels to wipe their muddy shoes and return used appliances in sealed boxes will treat a hired ride just as poorly. Hell, some people treat their own cars in ways that would make you shudder.

I spent a weekend in New Liskeard once, a tiny town far north in Ontario (I’ve also been there for a weekend). They do an annual Biker’s Reunion every Canada Day. The place is inundated with visitors and drunken revellers. I took a cab back to my hotel (after a one hour wait) and asked my driver what he did if he had a barfer.

“Two hundred bucks,” he responded. “They get charged two hundred bucks.”

Realizing that it was overwhelmingly drunks who called for cabs at events like this, I wondered if the steep surcharge was actually enforceable.

“We only have two cars,” he responded. “You can’t hide puke.”

 

Jennifer Lawrence barfs during Broadway show

Mike Moffitt of SF Gate reports “Hunger Games” star Jennifer Lawrence vomited during a Broadway adaptation of George Orwell‘s “1984,” but she says it was not the harrowing torture scene that made her toss her cookies.

The actress’ stomach problems were first reported by Page Six.

The play’s upsetting staging has reportedly caused audience members to faint, although until Monday night, no one apparently has thrown up.

Those who have read “1984,” are well aware of a nausea-inducing scene involving a cage and a rat.

According to a Page Six source, “Midway through the show, Jennifer Lawrence bolted from her seat. Several people saw her getting sick in the lobby. The ushers were very helpful and courteous in helping her out.”

The site quoted a friend of Lawrence, who said the visceral staging had nothing to do with the actress’ stomach distress. “She caught the stomach flu from her nephews,” the source said.

It’s not the first time Lawrence has publicly puked.

At a Guy Oseary-Madonna party in 2014, she got sick and threw up on a porch.

She told Seth Meyers: “I was in such bad condition, and I look behind me while I’m puking, and Miley Cyrus is there like, ‘Get it together.'”

Have you ever vomited so violently your bladder exploded? This UK woman did, and blames dodgy seafood

Lewis Pennock of the Mirror reports a 46-year-old woman vomited so violently her bladder exploded in a horrific case of food poisoning.

The woman, who had eaten dodgy seafood, was rushed to hospital after spending all night being sick until her condition deteriorated to the point her bladder ruptured.

A serving of gone-off seafood is thought to have left the woman with severe food poisoning, before her symptoms spiralled.

Surgeons who inspected the damage found a 3cm tear in the organ, a report in the British Medical Journal said, which is an incredibly rare side effect of vomiting.

The BMJ Case Report, authored by four medics from West Hertfordshire Hospitals NHS Trust, said the extreme injury was a “rare” reaction.

The unnamed woman, thought to be from Watford, had been eating dinner in a restaurant when she fell ill with food poisoning and began to vomit.

She went home but began to feel worse – and the vomiting became so intense her bladder was ruptured.

She decided to seek medical attention when the frequency and intensity of the vomiting caused her to bleed heavily from her vagina, experts said.

The woman, who had no history of a weakened bladder, was unable to go to the toilet despite having a full bladder.

The BMJ report said: “Spontaneous bladder rupture is a rare entity, with very few reports in the literature.”

It added: “This unusual case is important, as it has demonstrated that even normal, healthy bladders may rupture during episodes of high intra-abdominal pressure.”

Australian barfgate: Who chundered in a ministerial car?

Linda Silmalis of the Courier Mail writes it has been dubbed Barf-gate — who chundered in a ministerial car, leaving the driver gagging and resulting in a clean-up bill costing hundreds of dollars?

The car was driven by a ministerial driver who transported NSW Nationals leader John Barilaro and Liberal MP Eleni Petinos (right, with Blues coach) from ANZ Stadium, where they had been watching the State of Origin match on Wednesday night.

The pair had watched the game with Mr Barilaro’s young daughter and one of his staffers.

Mr Barilaro was in a celebratory mode after a successful state Budget, tweeting from the game: “I spent today backing #NSW in small business AND State of #Origin! UP THE BLUES!!!!!”

By Friday, word was going around Parliament House of a driver fuming over what he had discovered in the car upon starting his shift hours — possible a day — later.

 “The word is one vomited, and that set off the others,” a source close to the driver said.

Mr Barilaro, a married ­father of two, declined to ­answer any questions about the cost of the clean-up bill, nor who left the car in a mess.

A statement from his ­office confirmed Mr Barilaro and Ms Petinos were at Origin, but declined to confirm the figure to be repaid.

 “The taxpayer will not have to bear any costs,” the statement said.

 “Costs incurred will be privately managed.”

Satire: Rookie USDA Agent vomits after seeing first rotten orange

Unable to contain his nausea at the horrifying scene before him, rookie USDA agent Michael Dunn vomited Friday after seeing his first rotten orange.

“As soon as the kid caught a glimpse of that produce lying there decomposing, he turned away, hunched over, and started throwing up like crazy,” said supervisor Carl Webster, adding that it was not uncommon for brand-new agents to react in such a manner when suddenly confronted with a putrefying, fly-covered rind. “He’ll get past it, though—you build up your tolerance after a while. The key is to not let it faze you but also never forget that this rotting pulp was once a sweet, delicious part of someone’s fruit bowl or lunchbox.”

At press time, Dunn had steeled himself and looked at the orange once more, but was vomiting again before he could make it back to the car.

Norovirus plagues nearly 1,000 people in northern Calif. schools

I love that barfblog Ben’s partner, Dani, wrote today that, “For those of you wondering, Barfblog Ben has no idea how to actually clean up barf in real life,” after she cleaned up dog barf at 1 a.m. and kid barf at 1 p.m. at the hockey store.

I feel your pain – and irony.

There was this one time, we were driving home from Florida, and we were already back in Kansas, and Sorenne barfed, so I barfed in response.

I viewed it as a pathetic fallacy barf.

And this other time, one of my daughters barfed as the plane landed and I handled it like a pro.

Maybe it’s a cleaning of convenience that Chapman suffers from.

Almost 1,000 people in northern California have been infected with norovirus as it rips through multiple school districts.

That’s a lot of people barfing, and a disturbing lack of knowledge about what a deep clean actually means.

The Yolo County Health & Human Services Agency announced the virus, which causes fever and diarrhea, was rapidly affecting students, teachers and staff at area schools.

“The number of sick people is increasing every day at a very alarming rate,” the agency said in a press release.

The gastrointestinal illness, for which there’s no treatment, has impacted 32 schools in the county, located northwest of Sacramento.

Norovirus is highly contagious, health officials said. People can catch it by touching contaminated surfaces, coming in close contact with others carrying it and eating infected food.

The message is good hygiene and staying home 48 hours after the symptoms have resolved are crucial,” said Yolo County spokeswoman Beth Gabor. “I think that has been the problem. Kids have been returning to school too soon.”

It’s a nice message, but not one that works for parents or staff who have to work.

Be more creative.

There’s almost 1,000 people sick.

Dani, Amy, happy mother’s day. Being a mother usually involves a lot of barf.

 

The Kentucky Derby is decadent and depraved: 5 quotes that capture the madness

Elaborate clothes, excessive drinking and loutish behaviour. Can you tell the difference between the 1970s Kentucky Derby and the atmosphere at the races today?

‘The Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved’ is Hunter S. Thompson’s 1970s rendering of the ever-famous Louisville event, the annual Kentucky Derby. Alongside his companion and cartoonist Ralph Steadman, he paints a picture of an event that is just that: utterly decadent and wholly depraved.

Check out our top five quotes and you’ll see what we mean…

#1 Hunter S. Thompson and Steadman arrive at the racetrack bar and anyone who’s anyone is there: the politicians, the beautiful women and the rich locals, all there to see and be seen.

The only thing more important than the horse race itself is the sport of people-watching.

How different is that to the streams of spectators dressed in their best finery on Millionaire’s Row, desperate to impress the watchful eyes of the fashion police at the track nowadays?

#2 Looking out over the stands, Hunter S. Thompson imagines them packed with spectators, crying, fighting and falling over each other when the Kentucky Derby begins. The screaming, the vomiting, the public urination, the desperate grappling for money.

Ever sat in the cheap seats at a race track? If you’re in the infield, say goodbye to your hearing, you might as well throw away your shoes, and forget about personal space.

#3 Hunter S. Thompson studies the faces of the horse breeders, looking for the one face that perfectly represents the character of the typical Kentucky Derby race-goer. The privileged sort, drunk on whiskey and the belief in their own pure-bred Southern superiority.

They might be less conspicuously drunk nowadays but the only people who claim to be more pure-bred than the horses at a derby are the people who breed them.

#4 That night after the first race, drinking ensues in the unfortunate absence of drugs. Stealing passes to the race clubhouse, Hunter S. Thompson and Steadman spend an incoherent Kentucky Derby Day lost in a sea of whiskey-soaked people.

We’ve all seen the pictures of the rowdy drunken crowds falling over each other and pouring out of a race track. Hardly a stretch for the imagination.

#5 Hunter S. Thompson awakes from his drunken, sleep-like stupor, he sees an ill, red, haggered-looking face in the mirror. The exact face of the loathsome type of person he was looking for at the Derby.

The morning after the night before. We’ve all been there. This one doesn’t necessarily apply exclusively to horse races…just, mornings.

Hunter S. Thompson got one thing right in ‘The Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved’: the racetrack is capable of bringing out the worst in human nature. But there’s really no denying it, it’s still a great day out.

Raw is risky: Drake cancels show in Amsterdam after sushi makes him barf

For Canadians, the musician Drake will always be known as Jimmy Brooks from the teen dram series Degrassi: The Next Generation.

For Americans, he’s known as Drake, with 21 tracks on the streaming songs chart (all from ‘More Life’), beating his own record for the most concurrently charting tracks. He’s also No. 1 on Billboard.

For the Dutch, Drake is known as the barfing performer who couldn’t do a show.

TMZ reports Drake ate some bad sushi on Monday, and it messed up his stomach. We’re told it was so bad he had to get medical treatment immediately. It wasn’t enough though … he was still too sick to go onstage, which seriously pissed off the entire arena full of fans who’d already been waiting in their seats for 75 minutes when they got the bad news.

It was the third time in 3 months Drake had to postpone an Amsterdam gig … which explains why fans threw crap onstage. He’s promised to make up the show Wednesday.

Sometimes celebrities — and mere mortals — use foodborne illness as an excuse to mask their excesses the night before. Just sayin’.

Barf plane: Virgin flight passengers vomit after served parmesan cheese

Parmesan cheese smells like barf.

Always has.

parmesan-breadPassengers on a Virgin Australia flight on Christmas Day were served a complimentary snack on their journey from Perth to Adelaide.

Aside from coffee and tea, they were also offered bread rolls filled with parmesan cheese, which stunk up their entire plane for the duration of the five-hour long journey.

This caused some passengers to vomit in their seats, and others to race off the plane after landing to vomit on the tarmac.

I get it.

After the flight, a woman took to Facebook to share her experience and how Virgin Australia should improve.

‘I love cheese along with the best of us, however, when sitting in an enclosed space, with a low roof, over the length of 40ft, with not a window to open, and with seating capacity of over 100 passengers, parmesan cheese was probably not your brightest choice.’

A fan of cheese herself, the woman said the strong smell of parmesan became for some of the people sitting around her, including the woman beside her who was heaving into her sick bag for two hours.
‘I am fortunate enough not suffer such an affliction, but after hearing her wrenching and burping, mixed in with the lingering wafting smell of old socks took every strength of effort not to go out in sympathy with her.’

Woman who slipped on vomit and broke ankle at Irish pub awarded €82k

Tim Healy of the Independent reports a woman who broke her ankle when she slipped on vomit while leaving a toilet in a pub has been awarded €82,000 in High Court damages. 

cat-barfBookmaker’s clerk Fiona McGovern, Huntstown Wood, Clonsilla, Dublin, sued Tom Salmon Ltd, owners of Salmon’s Pub in Blanchardstown, Dublin, over the incident on March 24, 2008.

Ms McGovern (39) claimed the pub was negligent in failing to maintain appropriate cleaning standards and failing to ensure the vomit was cleaned up.

Awarding her a total of €82,000, Mr Justice Kevin Cross said she had suffered a nasty injury to her left ankle. On the application of her barrister, Bernard McDonagh SC, the judge also awarded her the costs of the case. 

Mr Justice Cross said Ms McGovern had been at the pub with family on Easter Sunday to watch a football match on the TV between Liverpool and Man Utd.  She was there “for some inexplicable reason to support Man Utd”, he said.

She returned later that night at around 11.30pm to see if her sister was still there and was advised she (sister) was in the beer garden, he said.

Ms McGovern went to the ladies toilet and on leaving it she slipped on vomit which was on the floor. A woman who knew her to see said that earlier one of a group of young lads, who had been sitting near the toilets, had vomited twice on the floor. 

It had not been cleaned up according to that woman, the judge said. The defendant had submitted it was hard to believe vomit would have been on the floor for up to one-and-a-half hours after it happened, the judge said.