It was over when she farted – there’s a car for that

Of the few websites I have in my RSS feeds for entertainment is, It Was Over When, all about how couples didn’t come to be. From yesterday:

It was over when she farted at the dinner table and kept on eating like nothing happened.


Aftermath: It ended the next day after I confronted her about the act. She tried to blame it on my dog.

The Japanese carmaker Mitsubishi has smelled the glove and introduced a new interior package it calls cocochi, in which the upholstery in the PX-Miev incorporates an anti-allergen coating that Mitsubishi says breaks down offensive odours and volatile organic compounds as well as deactivating allergens such as ticks and pollen.

And if fighting farts isn’t enough, each of the PX-Miev’s four seats is air-conditioned to ensure any remaining odours are quickly distributed and dispelled.

The PX-Miev’s obsession with smell doesn’t end there. The air-conditioning system pumps out aroma molecules as well as negative-ion and enriched oxygen to reduce fatigue and enhance comfort.


Kiwifruit to help the toots

When I first moved to New Zealand and discovered the delicious gold kiwifruit I went a little overboard, consuming at least four of these a day. Little did I know the sweeter sibling of the green kiwifruit may be helping to keep me from, ummm, embarrassing body functions.  Kiwi researchers have found that kiwifruit may help flatulence, reports The New Zealand Herald. 

We’ve all had those awkward moments when a roomful of people tries to ignore a less-than-fragrant blast from someone’s nether regions. It’s bad enough at work – but much worse on the bus or, heaven forbid, in a lift. Now help could be on the way, with the humble kiwifruit…

Up to one in five men and one in four women suffer from Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), with flatulence and constipation among common symptoms. The fruit contains an enzyme called zyactinase, and a small study has shown it could provide relief for IBS sufferers.

Gastroenterologist Dr Russell Walmsley, who worked on the research, said,

"People think of kiwifruit for constipation but it also seemed to be quite good for general irritable bowel.”

Melanie Palmer, communications manager for kiwifruit marketing company Zespri, said the fruit was known for relieving that "blocked and bloated feeling".


"Early results show eating green kiwifruit as part of a meal may improve digestion."

I’m a fan of the Zespri kiwifruit, mainly because they come with a clever little knoon (knife/spoon) for scooping your fruit (see picture, right).


Women fart, and that’s extra cool in New Zealand

First it was Jamie Lee Curtis flogging Activia yoghurt, and its, uh, ability to restore digestive regularity.

Now New Zealand brewer Tui has shattered one of the great myths of the sexes, with a billboard that reads, "Chicks never fart. Yeah, right.”

A survey of almost 600 women was carried out by Anchor’s low-fat probiotic yoghurt brand Symbio, which is promoting a 14-day programme to reduce digestive problems.

The company says the programme – run through – has already registered 10,000 people.

The study of digestive health has found that 45 per cent of women experienced gas at least two to three times a week, but only 12 per cent of women are likely to tell their friends they’re experiencing some sort of discomfort, even though three-quarters feel embarrassment when it strikes during social situations.

Sue McCarty, chief executive of the Auckland-based Via finishing school, said it was a "complete myth women don’t pass wind."

For those suffering, her advice was: Better out than in. She said women here had less to be concerned about. "We’re in New Zealand, remember. Lots more things are acceptable here than in other cultures."

Baby barfs on Ben – Wiggles handwashing song to blame

PhD student Ben Chapman excitedly sent me this picture last night of baby barf. First-time parents get excited about things like that, along with the color, frequency and aroma of baby poop.

First-time parent-to-be Amy got excited last night as I got to display my story-telling skills at the last pre-natal class of parents-to-be. The instructor asked for a volunteer, and someone volunteered me as the “most experienced” which meant, “the old guy.”

The book was Robert Munsch’s 1986, Love You Forever, one of the most popular children’s books ever, with some 8 million copies sold (my kids preferred The Paper Bag Princess, while I preferred Good Families Don’t, because it’s about farts).

I gave an animated telling of the story, complete with bad singing, based on years of practice, and because I’d seen Guelph-resident Munsch tell the story a few times. That was 20 years ago, and I was wearing the same hoodie (left)

Seeing as it’s Global Handwashing Day and in keeping with the kiddie theme, I note United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) Goodwill Ambassadors, The Wiggles, have created a catchy tune to help motivate millions of children worldwide to transform the mundane act of handwashing into an enjoyable habit, thereby improving hygiene and reducing the risk of disease.”

Here’s my parenting approach: kid, wash your damn hands.

Barfblog: fart and vomit edition

A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer.

Jose A. Cruz, 34, of Clarksburg, was pulled over early Tuesday for driving without headlights, police said. According to the criminal complaint, Cruz smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech and failed three field sobriety tests before he was handcuffed and taken to a police station for a breathalyzer test.

As Patrolman T.E. Parsons prepared the machine, Cruz scooted his chair toward Parsons, lifted his leg and "passed gas loudly," the complaint said.

"The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons," the complaint alleged.

Meanwhile in Tempe, eight to 10 members of an Arizona State University fraternity are believed to have caused a car accident by vomiting milk onto traffic below an ASU footbridge on University Drive Tuesday night.

The prank caused a woman to rear-end another vehicle at about 6 p.m. after that vehicle stopped to avoid the vomit.

It is unknown why the men were drinking and vomiting the milk.

Grossology: The (Impolite) Science of the Human Body

That’s the name of an exhibit set to open yesterday at the South Florida Science Museum and expected to topple previous attendance records.

The Palm Beach Post reports The exhibition is based on a series of books by science teacher Sylvia Branzei whose research found that the average person swallows a quart of snot per day.

Other features of the exhibit include:

• guess the correct sequence of events that sets off barfing at the Vomit Center;

• match horrible odors to their correct source at Y U Stink;

• learn how vibrations of skin around the anus create a fart sound at Toot Toot; and,

• scale a 12-foot wall of pimples, warts and other skin blemishes.

Jennifer Cooper, a science educator at the museum, said,

"This is kind of a learning-in-disguise exhibit. They’re learning without feeling like they’re learning."

And you wonder why we call it barfblog.