Kellogg’s sells poop; asks taxpayers to wipe up

Kellogg CEO David Mackay is planning to grunt out a giant turd in Washington tomorrow.

To see how his assertions would be, uh, swallowed, Mackay’s comments were leaked to an uncritical press this afternoon, just like in the financial meltdown. Both AP and Reuters proclaimed that Kellogg’s “is urging lawmakers to overhaul the nation’s food safety system.”

Mackay (right, exactly as shown) wants food safety placed under a new leader in the Health and Human Services department. He also called for new requirements that all food companies have written safety plans, annual federal inspections of facilities that make high-risk foods, and other reforms.

Mackay whined that Kellogg’s had to recall more than 7 million cases of crackers and cookies, at a cost of $65 million to $70 million, and that "Audit findings reported no concerns that the facility may have had any pathogen-related issues or any potential contamination.”

Kellogg’s is a multi-billion dollar company asking for a government handout to do what Kellogg’s should be doing – selling a safe product. Kellogg’s helped create the paper albatross that is third-party audits instead of having its own people at plants that supply product which Kellogg’s resells at a substantial profit. And now this crapmeister is going to tell Washington how to strengthen food safety when he can’t keep shit out of his own company’s peanut cracker thingies. Must be a day of dicks.