The hottest word (in my opinion) of 2009: wal-creature. If you’re a late night Wal-Mart shopper like me (I’d rather avoid the daytime crowd), then there’s a pretty good chance that you’ve come across one. A wal-creature is anyone shopping at Wal-Mart wearing outlandish or ridiculous clothing, whether it be too tight or blindingly bright. A wal-creature could be Mimi from Drew Carey. Wal-creatures may be encountered in real life, but more often are photographed and put up on one of my favorite sites: peopleofwalmart.com. The site has daily updates with pictures and captions of the craziest people spotted in Wal-Mart.
First off, I’m pretty surprised that some of these people leave their house dressed as they are. Secondly, I can’t believe how many of these people have been photographed in the store with animals. There aren’t too many Wal-Marts around without a food section, so there’s a very good chance that these animals have accompanied their owners on that side of the store. Peopleofwalmart.com includes photos of wal-creatures with monkeys (2 of them), raccoons, snakes, pigs, and even macaws.
In my opinion, the photo with the macaw is the most disturbing. The caption says it best: “Oh no Ms., it’s cool, I love stepping in parrot sh*t whenever I’m buying celery. Nothing says sanitary like a parrot in the produce section…” I cannot believe this lady got away with bringing a giant Salmonella factory into the produce section of a grocery store. I’m a big proponent of service dogs – dogs only. This bird’s rectum is pointed precariously close to the cases of strawberries. Unfortunately the manager at the store couldn’t have done anything about it (whether he was aware of the bird in the store or not). Laws are in place to protect disabled people with service animals from being asked to leave stores. Managers are not even allowed to ask what their disability is (which isn’t overly apparent in this situation) and disabled patrons are not required to show documentation for their service animals. I wish this could be regulated somehow because I have suspicions that the bird isn’t a real service animal, instead it’s just a pet.
Pets in grocery stores gross me out and tick me off. Wal-creatures just scare me.