How to make perfectly dangerous burger patties

The Food Network, home of dysfunctional food safety procedures – but at least they don’t claim they’re science-based – has a number of tips for hamburger patties that profiles food porn over safety:

• for square sliders, “cook the patties until a crust forms, about 2 minutes per BMA98tjCMAEfqwFside, topping with cheese after flipping, if desired;”

• for cheese stuffed burgers, “preheat a grill to medium high and oil the grates and season the patties with salt and pepper and grill 5 to 6 minutes per side;

• for thin burgers, cook the patties in a skillet until a crust forms, 2 to 3 minutes per side; continue cooking until browned, 1 more minute per side, topping with cheese during the last minute, if desired; and,

• for half-pound bistro burgers, divide 2 pounds ground beef chuck into 4 pieces and grill burgers, covered, about 6 minutes per side.

Use a thermometer and stick it in. Will account for all the variations in cooking devices, and make you a better cook.

And you may not make anyone sick.