Don’t eat poop, and don’t drink poop in soda

A student at Haddon Township High School in South Jersey – always Jersey – discretely defecated into a classmate’s soda on March 29, 2010, and once the victim unwittingly took a drink, students in the classroom erupted in laughter.

Jason Laughlin, a spokesman for the Camden County Prosecutor’s Office told the Philadelphia Daily News that when a teacher found out the next day, the accused 17-year-old was charged with aggravated assault and tampering with a food product.

The accused, a standout wrestler (is this The Breakfast Club?), was not identified because of his age. His mother said the incident was being "blown out of proportion" and declined to comment further. His father is a physical-education teacher in the district.

The suspect has a scheduled hearing Thursday in Camden County Superior Court, Laughlin said.