So sorry: Texas woman who pooped in cop car to hide drugs in her feces gets prison time

Chacour Koop of the Star Telegram reports a woman who pooped in cop car to create a hiding spot for her drugs is going to prison, officials say.

Two years ago, Shannen Martin, 34, was arrested during a theft investigation at an H-E-B grocery store in Corsicana, Texas, police said. She was handcuffed and put in the patrol vehicle after resisting the cops, police said.

On her way to jail, Martin “intentionally defecated” in the car and hid 2.3 grams of crack cocaine, a crack pipe and a Valentine’s Day card in the poop, police said.

An officer had to dig through the poop to find the evidence, police said.

Martin pleaded guilty to possession of a controlled substance and tampering with evidence. She also pleaded guilty to injury to a disabled person for macing a relative during an argument, according to the Navarro County District Attorney’s Office.

Last year, Martin was sentenced to probation instead of prison.

As part of her sentencing, she also was required to write a letter of apology to the officer who had to dig through her poop, court records show.

However, Martin’s probation was revoked in September after she violated terms of her agreement multiple times, prosecutors said. Last week, she was sentenced to three years in prison.

Today in National Poop Day: How to s*it, a guide

In 2016, San Diego photographer Jesse Karras was watching part of Jim Jeffries’ comedy special, Freedumb, where the comedian hilariously shares about teaching his son Hank to shit. At that present moment, Karras had a copy of Thich Nhat Hanh’s little Zen book titled ‘How to Sit’ on his coffee table. And the idea was born — a guide for how to shit.

That initial idea became “Have a Great Shit: The Best Bathroom Book,” which is released just in time for National Poop Day, Feb. 3. This holiday is a treasured American tradition that yearly falls the day after Super Bowl Sunday, a football game that is societally used largely as an excuse to eat as many buffalo wings and nachos as humanly possible. Thus, the day after makes for an extra poopy Monday…yet the act of pooping is rarely discussed.

Food safety and health doesn’t stop at the moment the food is swallowed.  It is critically important to monitor the health of our poops to ensure our digestion is working as it should be and we are purging our bodies effectively. As critical as this daily routine is for our physical and mental health, information on how to improve the quality of our shits is not often shared in pop culture. Karras was inspired to break the “poo taboo” to research the topic extensively and put together his findings into an educational, entertaining guide for how to have a great shit. The author also covers many other aspects of the bathroom experience, such as how to poop in different environments, how to improvise without toilet paper and how altering “poo-sitions” can affect the health of your bowel movements.

Our world may seem divided from time to time, but we stand united in our desire to have a great shit. Let’s all celebrate this year’s National Poop Day on Feb. 3 by sitting on the porcelain throne for a laugh while reading “Have a Great Shit: The Bathroom Book.”

THE TOP TEN TOILET TIPS TO HELP YOU GO LIKE A PRO

Taken from: Have a Great Shit – The Best Bathroom Book – by Jesse Karras

  1. Roll call – Make sure you have ample toilet paper on the roll for your wiping needs BEFORE you sit to shit.
  2. Let it go – Not pooping when you have to go causes constipation and other unpleasant side effects. Resist the urge to resist the urge and take a dump when you have to go.
  3. Walk it off – Get some exercise each day to help activate your bowels.
  4. No loitering – Only sit on the can when you have to shit. Loitering increases the odds of hemorrhoids by forcing a shit before it is ready.
  5. Fat chance – Minimize high-fat foods like cheeses, red meat, and fried foods in your diet to reduce the chances of constipation.
  6. Vacation constipation – Consider taking a daily fiber supplement when you travel to stay regular and stave off the constipation blues.
  7. Eat your peas – Peas are loaded with more fiber than just about any other vegetable. Find out some of the best and worst foods for getting your daily fiber dose in the book.
  8. Chill out – Stress is a major cause of constipation and other health-related problems. Look for natural and healthy ways to reduce your stress like meditation, exercise, eating better, or therapy.
  9. Drink up – Your turds are 95% water so hey give them what they want. Soda and alcohol dehydrate you so chug twice as much water comparatively to keep regular.
  10. Chew on this – Thoroughly chewing your food before swallowing helps aid in the digestive process and minimizes bacteria and fungi that can cause indigestion and gas.

Is it important to shut the toilet lid before flushing? Yes

I just pooped.

Really.

And I shut the toilet lid before I flushed.

The question came up internally – no pun intended – a few months ago and the barfblog braintrust saw evidence that closing the seat before flushing played a role in reducing the dispersal of microorganisms.

A pilot study by researchers with the University of Iowa has found that bioaerosols from flushed toilets in the rooms of patients with Clostridioides difficile infection (CDI) may contribute to the spread of healthcare-associated bacteria in hospitals. The research was published today in Infection Control and Hospital Epidemiology.

In the study, which was conducted at the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics, researchers collected bioaerosols on plates placed 0.15 meters (m), 0.5 m, and 1.0 m from the rims of toilets in 24 rooms of patients hospitalized with CDI and collected bathroom air continuously with a bioaerosol sampler before and after toilet flushing. They then cultured and identified bacteria on the plates (focusing on C difficile), measured bacterial density, and calculated the difference in bioaerosol production before and after flushing.

Bacteria were positively cultured from 8 of 24 rooms (33%). In total, 72 preflush and 72 postflush samples were collected, with healthcare-associated bacteria found in 9 of the preflush samples (12.5%) and 19 of the postflush samples (26.4%); postflush plates had a significantly higher probability of culturing positive than preflush plates (P = .0309). The predominant species cultured were Enterococcus faecalis, E faecium, and C difficile. Compared with the preflush air samples, the postflush samples showed significant increases in the concentrations of the two large particle-size categories: 5.0 micrometers (P = .0095) and 10.0 micrometers (P = .0082).

The authors conclude, “This study potentially supports the hypothesis that toilet flushing may lead to the spread of clinically significant pathogens in healthcare settings. More information is needed to determine the risk factors associated with toilet flushing and environmental contamination by pathogens.”

Gin infused with elephant poop hits store shelves

My friend Lynn likes her gin.

And running half-marathons.

But as a fellow food safety type she may not approve of this.

The makers of a South African gin infused with elephant dung swear their use of the animal’s excrement is no gimmick.

The creators of Indlovu Gin, Les and Paula Ansley, stumbled across the idea a year ago after learning that elephants eat a variety of fruits and flowers and yet digest less than a third of it.

“As a consequence, in the elephant dung, you get the most amazing variety of these botanicals,” Les Ansley said during a recent visit to their operations. “Why don’t we let the elephants do the hard work of collecting all these botanicals and we will make gin from it?” he recalled his wife suggesting.

Her idea came after a safari during which a wildlife ranger described an elephant’s digestive process.

After about five sizeable bags of dung are collected for a batch of 3,000 to 4,000 bottles of the gin, the droppings are dried and crumbled, then washed to remove dirt and sand. Eventually only the remains of the fruits, flowers, leaves and bark eaten by the elephants are left behind.

Those botanicals are then sterilized and dried again and placed in an airing cupboard. Think of it like a “spice cupboard,” Ansley said. Eventually, the remains are infused in the gin.

Accused burglar poops on victim’s living room floor before arrest in Texas

Burkburnett, TX,  police arrested 40-year-old Matthew Caporale for burglary of a habitation Friday.

Police got a report of a burglary in progress on Patricia Court, and began searching in the area for a suspect.

A Schwan’s driver told officers he saw the suspect running down an alley and officers said they found and detained Caporale two blocks away.

The victim showed officers surveillance video and said Caporale is seen breaking a gate, going into the back porch and coming out holding a television, then returning and taking a leather Harley-Davidson jacket.

Police said the backdoor of the garage and entry door to the kitchen were kicked in.

The victim also showed officers where the intruder had defecated on the living room floor.

Arrest records shows a previous conviction for burglary and arrests for burglary, theft, assault of an officer and resisting arrest.

In Massachusetts, an Ashland woman was discovered to be the serial pooper in Natick.

An Ashland woman has been charged with eight counts of destruction of property for defecating in public around Natick, according to WHDH.

Andrea Grocer left piles of poop near the Natick Outdoor Store over the last few months, police said.

Grocer, 51, was arrested on Wednesday when police spotted her squatting in a parking lot just before 7 a.m., Lt. Cara Rossi told the station.

Police stepped up patrols in the area to catch the pooper recently. Police found toilet paper at some scenes, so they were able to rule out an animal.

This isn’t the first time an outdoor pooper has had a run-in with police. In 2018, poop found near a New Jersey school’s track confused an entire town — until police figured out the school system’s superintendent was behind the deeds.

But, Thomas Tramaglini likely wasn’t doing it for fun. He was an avid runner, and some speculated he was experiencing a phenomenon known as “runner’s trots.” A jogger from Colorado Springs, Colo., was nicknamed “the mad pooper” in 2017. A 51-year-old woman named Andrea Grocer has run in recent races in Massachusetts — including a No. 86 finish in the 2019 Cape Cod Half Marathon and a 52:24.3 time in the 2019 New Balance Falmouth Road Race last August — but police have not confirmed if the Natick poopings have an athletic connection.

Substitute teacher in Florida dumps poop on party in revenge against principal

Brisbane is equidistant from the equator as is Sarasota, Florida.

Yet we are the coolest place in Australia today, where many cities are in the mid-40s C.

And which is why the first renovation to the house was to install central air conditioning (summer is a tad hot for my Canadian blood).

Heather Carpenter, a sub at Phillippi Shores Elementary School, was arraigned last month for allegedly sabotaging the principal’s party at a Sarasota park by dumping human feces on the grills and tables,

Police said 42-year-old Carpenter was angry over a complaint she filed at school and wanted revenge on the principal.

The sub allegedly was witnessed in rubber gloves and a face mask around 6:30 a.m. Dec. 1 at Urfer Park putting fecal matter around the pavilion, which was reserved for the birthday party of the principal’s 6-year-old daughter.

Officers spoke to the principal who explained she had an ongoing dispute with a substitute teacher, who taught her daughter’s class. The detectives went to the home of Carpenter, who allegedly confessed to the act of revenge, officials said.

She told officers she flung the poop around the pavilion because she was upset over how a complaint she filed at school was being handled and wanted to disrupt the birthday festivities.

Who throws poop, or a shoe.

California shopper poops in middle of supermarket then opens pack of toilet paper to wipe himself off

The unidentified pooper was filmed relieving himself on the floor of the Safeway supermarket in San Francisco’s Marina District around 7:45 am last Sunday morning.

He was snapped defecating by a stunned shopper called Mike, who uploaded the photos to social media afterwards. The incident happened close to an aisle full of cleaning products, even though the Safeway has a restroom that is free for shoppers to use.

Mike says the pooper left the Safeway shortly after – apparently without paying for the toilet paper he’d used – before wandering into a nearby Starbucks. His behavior was met with disgust by fellow shoppers, one of whom told KRON he was ‘lost for words.’

We have an abundance of excellent public toilets in Australia – or at least Brisbane.

Don’t spread poop spread kindness

So to the couple of readers who took me to task recently. I’ll say the same thing I did in 1986; go publish your own paper and stop complaining.

You want food safety for free?

Amanda Woods of the New York Post  writes the Windy City has its own “Mad Pooper.”

Ke Hu, 46, was busted on Oct. 15 in Chicago’s south side neighborhood of Bridgeport after authorities identified him as a man “wanted for using feces and food to deface vehicles and storefronts” back in June, The Chicago Sun-Times reported.

Police say Hu wore white gloves and carried a brown paper bag as he traipsed through the neighborhood in the early morning hours, smearing dung all over people’s property, the paper reported. Video posted to YouTube by Book Club Chicago catches the crappy culprit in the act — targeting a parked SUV.

He mostly defaced parked cars, but once sullied a storefront, according to the report. It was not immediately clear if the poop was Hu’s own.

Oh and most people in Brisbabe think that Canada ends in Banff.

Pete Townsend’s solo career was so much more interesting.

Balloon-wiping teacher goes viral in video teaching critical bathroom-wiping skills

Kristi Pahr of Yahoo writes that parents expect their kids to learn a number of things in preschool—the alphabet and number sense, maybe how to write their name, socialization and the beginnings of conflict resolution. But not many parents expect their kids to learn how to, ahem, wipe their butts in preschool. That’s usually the kind of thing we expect to teach at home. Handwashing? Yes. Butt-wiping? Doesn’t happen at my kid’s preschool.

A video, that appears to be of a classroom abroad, shared widely on social media showed us what we’ve been missing. This absolutely brilliant teacher came up with the best wipe-teaching hack ever. By attaching two balloons to a small chair, she showed kids the perfect front-to-back technique, while showing them how to balance on the potty. We all stress the importance of proper handwashing, cough covers, and nose-blowing and expect those to be, if not taught in preschool, at least brushed-up on and practiced. Maybe it’s time for bottom-cleanliness to take center-stage in American preschools as well.

The origins of the video are unknown, but various versions shared online have been fairly well-received, with parents around the Twittersphere acknowledging the sheer genius of the balloon models.

Perfect poo and good health connect in teaching tool for children

A central Queensland professor is taking the taboo out of poo to teach children about the link between eating well and making healthy poo.

The ‘Poop it’ kit uses illustrated stories and rewards to educate four to eight-year-olds about what a healthy poo looks like.

It was developed by Professor Kerry Reid-Searl from CQUniversity, who partnered with paediatric nurses, academics, and undergraduate students.

The inspiration behind the project comes from the professor’s desire to take the embarrassment out of talking about what we flush down the toilet.

“Many people are ashamed or reluctant to talk about poo, yet there is such an important link between good health and poo,” she said.

“As a nurse I have encountered many children with bowel problems, and my understanding from the anecdotal responses from parents of these children is that the psychosocial impact can be significant.

“So this project is very much about giving children an awareness of a topic that probably fascinates them, but more importantly provides them with information that can influence their everyday being.”

What does a healthy poo look like?

It’s already a topic that gets kids giggling. But to make learning about what goes into making good and bad poo fun, the professor and her team created characters that illustrate the meaning behind the shape of the poo we make.

“There are seven different types of poos, from rabbit droppings right through to gravy-type poos, but the best healthy poo is a sausage-shaped poo where it’s like a sausage — smooth and brown.”

Personally, my family has no taboos when talking about poo or farts or burps – expected from someone who’s idea of community service is writing on barfblog.com – at least until Sorenne reaches puberty, which is soon, and then I’ll just be an embarrassment until she needs money, about 10 years later. If the 4 Canadian daughters are anything to go by (right, with my father, Jan. 2019 in Brantford) it’s a set pattern.

And it may be arriving sooner than expected. I just facetimed daughter S in Arizona where she is staying with her maternal grandmother for the night, and she blew me off after a couple of minutes to go chat with a friend in Brisbane.

Technology. Kids. Life.