Speaking of poop, this morning I was awoken by my youngest at the brittle hour of 4 AM, he’s almost 2, to inform me that his diaper had fallen off from the excessive weight of his poop. As fun as it was giving him a bath at that hour I read about this poop pill derived from elite athletes to improve your performance… I just want to sleep.
Ian Lecklitner of MEL magazine writes
As a society, we’ve become obsessed with probiotics. And rightfully so: The complex community of microorganisms living in the digestive tract greatly influence our overall health, and probiotics are a proven shortcut to this valhalla of bacteria—colonizing our stomachs with only the good stuff.
But as it turns out, that’s just the bare minimum.
More potent shit is on the way.
New research suggests that performance-enhancing probiotics can be made from microorganisms found in the guts of elite athletes. Swallowing their shit will make your shit—whether that’s running a weekend 5k or hitting eighth for the company softball team—that much better.
In more medical terms, the research, presented by Harvard Medical School microbiologist Jonathan Scheiman, found that the bacteria in the guts of elite athletes—in this case, a collection of marathoners and ultramarathoners—help their bodies better process food for energy, reduce inflammation and eliminate chemicals that cause fatigue and soreness.
This isn’t mere theory, either.
By the end of the year, Scheiman and his team hope to develop performance-enhancing gut-bacteria pills that can make any couch potato’s stomach as strong as that of the winner of the Boston Marathon—no matter how much pizza and beer they devour on a weekly basis.
Now that’s some next-level shit.