Amazing Boring Race plays with poop in India

Amy watches The Amazing Race for some wind-down after a day of Sorenne and French literature.

I go to bed.

On Sunday night, the racers went to India and had to choose between feed the fire or feed the buffalo. For feed the fire, teams navigated the Ganges River to the home of a milkman. Once there, they had to make 50 traditional fuel patties out of buffalo manure and then slap them on the wall to dry in the sun. Finally, teams loaded a stove with fuel patties and lit a fire to boil milk for the local children.

Using poop to cook the poop out of milk.

But at least they wore plastic gloves.

For feed the buffalo, teams crossed the Ganges, pick up a large load of hay, cross the Ganges again and carry their hay through the narrow streets to a designated address.

The sisters choose buffalo, not knowing there was poop involved. "Man, the crap you do for a million dollars," sister Jen says. Both start gagging over the stench while the local kiddies watch and laugh. When the sisters are done, their poop piles don’t pass muster, and they have to redo a couple.

Claire and Vikki vomit during Amazing Race food challenge

Amy likes the television show, The Amazing Race.

I don’t, and play on my computer while sitting with her after Sorenne has gone to bed.

I did look up this evening as a couple of contestants yakked while consuming vast amounts of Honk Kong food in an attempt to identify one of the five plastic food replicas on the buffet tray. Nice sound effects.

Our marriage is solid.

Crazy things to do with cheese

Amy likes to watch the Amazing Race, which is horrible for many reasons.

On one of the races, they did this cheese-carrying-down-a-hill thing, which seems like running with the bulls, but with cheddar.

They’ve been doing a similar thing in Gloucester, U.K. for the past 200 years in which competitors chase a 7lb wheel of Double Gloucester down a 200-yard incline (see video below). Fans held an unofficial contest and hundreds ignored warnings to attend this year’s event.

Police said there would be no dedicated medical help for casualties and the unofficial contest could jeopardize the chance of an event being held next year under a different format. The contest still attracted about 300 people from as far afield as Holland. (Holland’s really not that far away).

The next day, a ‘cheese wedding cake’ expert was hoping to smash the world record for the largest cheese sculpture with her half-ton cheddar crown.

Cordon Bleu trained chef Tanys Pullin, 46, spent 90 hours crafting it out of a 1,322lb block of Farmhouse Cheddar. She carved the sculpture in the shape of a crown to mark the anniversary of the Queen’s Coronation on June 2.

To achieve the Guinness World Record the crown sculpture needed to weigh in excess of 290 kg (101lbs). Tanys’s effort is just awaiting the validation from Guinness adjudicators.

Rules state that the sculpture must be made from a single piece of cheese and is not allowed to be supported by an internal structure.

Stick it in to tell if a hamburger is safe – with a thermometer; color and poking and pieces of metal are unreliable

Sorenne did not sleep last night.

There was seemingly nothing to console her, and I was up much of the night.

But I’m getting some payback now as she enters the third hour of her nap, and decided a homemade hamburger with grilled corn and salad would make a decent lunch for myself. Coupled with the season premier of Californication on the recorderer, I was set.

Except I didn’t have Californication because I can’t tape it until tonight because Amy just had to watch and tape the season premier of The Amazing Race in case she missed a minute of the zzzzzzzzzzzz action.

And then I got this how-to-cook-a-hamburger advice by the geniuses at epicurious, forwarded by my friend Mike.

James Oliver Cury reveals his burger snobbery by suggesting those in search of a medium-rare burger – whatever that is – avoid “low-end” eateries because high-end eateries use higher quality beef and “preparation methods are superior: clean, safe, reliable.”

Guess he’s never heard of The Fat Duck.

In a linked story about burgers, the poke test for doneness is promoted:

“Medium-rare is softly yielding, medium is semifirm, well-done is firm."

 Another says he prefers the visual approach, judging by the juices:

"When they start to come out of the top of the burger, it’s medium. When the juices that have oozed out of the top get cooked (stop looking red and become a bit more clear), it’s medium-well."

A tip-sensitive thermometer
is the only accurate way to determine whether a hamburger has been safely cooked to 160F.

Sorenne woke up before I could finish this, so I changed the TV in the background to something more child-friendly than, No Country For Old Men – Goodfellas was on AMC — and safely fed her some leftovers.

The Amazing Race: Who’s ready to work up a thirst?

On the Amazing Race tonight, the teams traveled to Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso where their challenge was to milk a camel and then drink a bowl full of raw camel milk. I was anxious to see if any of the teams would reject the challenge, as it can be a health risk. Yet, the only risks they were worried about were getting stepped on, the flies, the bugs, and the smell related to the warm milk. One of the contestants simply flipped out.

The first to finish, TK, said he had some trouble getting the milk down, “It was a little grainy. A little sweet and a little warm.”