You see a cute pet, I see a Salmonella factory, Hollywood edition: a petting zoo for Brangelina’s kids?

I don’t understand the allure of celebrity.

Jessica Alba was on Good Morning America this morning, flogging some eco-baby crap; it’s good to have a second career when you suck at your current one (acting).

It’s just a rumor, but Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have, according to the Sun, built their children a small petting zoo that includes goats, llamas, geese, goldenglobe 9 120109ducks, bantam chickens, emus and lop-eared rabbits.

“Maddox and Pax are safari mad and they wanted Brad to buy them lions and tigers, even crocodiles,” the source said. “Brad decided to go with a mini farm/petting zoo theme that the twins, Knox and Vivienne, can enjoy looking after as well. They’re in a penned-off area in a field with little huts that the animals live in.”

That’s sweet. And I’m all for kids learning to look after kids. But only with an understanding that nature can be harsh and brutal, and that dangerous microorganisms don’t care that you’re celebrity spawn.

A table of petting zoo outbreaks is available at

Raw egg aioli promoted for Ocean’s Eleven screening

Dinner and a Movie on TBS is incredibly hokey and contrived, which makes it perfect entertainment fare along with trashy magazines and Tom Robbins novels while recharging at the beach.

During a (probably repeat) screening of the George Clooney Ocean’s Eleven remake on Friday night, the recipe to accompany the movie was ‘Risky Aioli;’ risky because, as the hosts said, the recipe included raw egg.

The host did say that if you didn’t feel up to it (were a wus) a tablespoon of commercial mayo could be substituted instead. They went ahead with the raw egg.

I’m guessing the egg-of-course-we-only-promote-the-cooked-kind industry didn’t register any health objections when the episode originally aired.

Man detained at Mexican airport found with 18 baby monkeys taped to body

Customs officials (left, not exactly as shown) at Mexico City’s airport detained a Peruvian man (right, not exactly as shown) carrying 18 baby monkeys, including two which had died, hidden under his clothes, federal police said.

"The Titi monkeys were found hidden in a band tied around the man’s body," a statement said.

The Sydney Morning Herald reports the discovery was made when the 38-year-old man appeared edgy during random checks on passengers off a flight from Lima, Peru, it said.

Titi monkeys — found in Central and South America — are protected under the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species of Wild Fauna and Flora (CITES).

Meth doesn’t make for safe burgers

During a drive to Kansas City, MO I remember Doug telling me about the abundance of methamphetamine labs in the Midwest, and to keep an eye out for stray bathtubs on the side of the highway – I guess that’s where the meth is made.

Bathtubs and fast food kitchens it turns out. reports that a Cape Girardeau, MO Sonic restaurant was closed after there were allegations of a shift manager manufacturing methamphetamine inside the kitchen.

Dennie Bratcher, 27, faces charges of burglary and manufacturing meth in the case. According to Cape Girardeau Police Sgt. Jason Selzer, officers found Bratcher, still wearing his Sonic uniform, inside the business after responding to a burglar alarm. Bratcher apparently worked a night shift but went back to the restaurant after closing time.

According to Selzer, Bratcher told officers he planned to make the meth on the roof, but he opted for the kitchen because it was too cold outside.

Environmental Public Health Specialist Amy Morris said the incident has forced the restaurant to completely restock the store,

"We’re talking everything from sugar packets to hamburgers, to straws to the ice cream in the machines."

Morris also stressed that the store would have to be "100% safe" before the store would be allowed to reopen.

Sonic officials have offered no comment.

Missouri-born Brad Pitt (right) would be so disappointed.