Why quarterbacks should stick to football: New Oregon QB commit Cale Millen celebrates by chugging raw eggs with head coach Mario Cristobal

There’s nothing worse than athletes trying to speak.

Bull Durham captured it (below).

This ain’t Rocky, this is Salmonella.

Apparently, it was representative of Cale Millen’s dedication to the University of Oregon. The newest Ducks commit, a Mount Si (Wash.) three-star junior, announced his college decision on Sunday and celebrated by chugging a glass of three raw eggs with his future head coach, Mario Cristobal, as captured by The Oregonian Oregon beat writer Andrew Nemec.

If that sounds unhealthy, well, it is. Sure, raw eggs pack plenty of protein, but they also pack a risk of salmonella. Not a huge risk of salmonella, mind you (there’s actually a greater risk of salmonella on contaminated egg shells than eggs), but the risk is there.

South Carolina sports fan splattered with vomit live on TV as half-time show gets gross

Baseball team the Charleston Riverdogs held a ribbon dancing contest between innings during a game on Thursday.

bull-durham-mv02It went well and one of the dancers was beaming as she strolled off the field, but then out of nowhere she vomited everywhere.

And just in case the fans watching at home missed it, the Riverdogs uploaded the gross-out footage to social media.

What made her ill remains unclear, but viewers have noted that the team runs a “Thirsty Thursdays” promotion.

Others have suggested that it was simply ball-park food combined with the sudden physicality of dancing.

Regardless, her unfortunate outburst is being used as a Twitter meme to express sudden disgust.

Some fans took issue with the minor-league team for sharing the video on social media.

However the fan herself, named Bonnie, joked on Twitter that she gave “all she’s got” for her team.

Salmonella Saintpaul in Mexican pepper: ‘The rose goes at the front, big guy’

I watch movies in the background while I work on the couch.

Great movies can be watched hundreds of times – American Beauty, Starman, High Fidelity, Almost Famous, Wonderboys, The World According to Garp, The Departed – as a comforting narcotic, but only as background.

Bull Durham was on the other day as part of a Kevin Costner marathon, cause I guess they’ve let him make movies again after Waterworld

OK, not fair, Costner had a good turn as the washed up jock in Mike Binder’s underrated 2005 film, The Upside of Anger.

The Bull Durham sports clichés apparently carried over to an interview I did with the L.A. Times yesterday about Salmonella Saintpaul and the performance of the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.

"There’s been a bunch of armchair quarterbacks out there who should really think first and walk a mile in the FDA’s shoes," said Powell, the food safety expert, in an interview. "FDA has done a good job keeping its eye on the ball and managed to track it down in the face of a lot of barriers."

Maybe I should have added that everyone’s been giving it 110 per cent. And that there is no “I” in team.

At least I didn’t say, as Costner does to pitcher Tim Robbins, who has taken to wearing lingerie to help focus his erratic pitching,

“The rose goes at the front, big guy.”

Oh, and below is almost an exact recreation of the first time I met Amy.