Top Chef would be mildly entertaining with Charlie Sheen

I have no idea why those morons on Top Chef don’t use a thermometer.

During last night’s episode, Carla (right, exactly as shown) serves raw pork.

Judge Gail says, the center of my pork loin was pretty much completely raw.

Carla goes home

Thermometers would make them better cooks.

The Charlie factor is best summarized by music critic Lester Bangs in the film, Almost Famous:

Lester Bangs: The Doors? Jim Morrison? He’s a drunken buffoon posing as a poet.

Alice Wisdom: I like the Doors.

Lester Bangs: Give me the Guess Who. They got the courage to be drunken buffoons, which makes them poetic.

Hamburger ads go skanky

Daughter Courtlynn graduated from elementary school last night and begins the teenage angst of secondary school in September (that’s grade 9, freshman for Americans)

As a 14-year-old who outgrew the nonsense of the TV show, The Hill’s about 6 months ago, Courtlynn’s miles ahead of the marketing geniuses at Carl’s Jr., who have decided to use Audrina Patridge’s bikini body to promote its Teriyaki Burger.

"My one indulgence is the Carl’s Jr. Teriyaki Burger. I seriously crave it." reports that Carl’s Jr. and its sister chain Hardee’s, which are both wholly owned subsidiaries of Carpinteria, Calif.-based CKE Restaurants, also are hosting a contest for female consumers to show how they eat the chains’ burgers by posting videos to

This is worthy because I threw up a little bit in my mouth while writing this. And Courtlynn thought Audrina was the skanky one. Smart kid.

Hosea wins Top Chef season 5; I feel asleep

There was no way Tom Colicchio was going to let the brash Stefan take home the Top Chef honors; he made that apparent with the verbal dressing down of the Finn a few weeks ago.

Carla was all Carla and simply cooked herself out of any serious consideration.

That left Hosea as the champ. Steady, boring, even the food safety issues were minimal.

The most exciting part of the finale is that one of my favorite entertainment blogs, dlisted, picked up a picture I had created for a previous Carla post (below).