Top-5 Records presents top-5 restaurant complaints

Who doesn’t like a list? David Letterman figured this out decades ago. Today, the Detroit Free Press chimes in with the top-5 complaints of restaurant patrons.

And none of them had to do with barfing.

1. Over 100 readers responded and the overwhelming top complaint was being addressed as "you guys" — as in "How are you guys?" or "Are you guys ready to order?" (In Canadian, that may be “youse guys.”). I have to agree with this. With five daughters and coaching girls’ hockey and soccer for years, I made it a point never to refer to the young ladies as ‘youse guys.’ A guy, by definition, is male, and I’m not sure how the “you guys” thing ever caught on. And there are gender-neutral alternatives, like ‘folks’ or ‘youse.’ One male reader wrote, "I am a customer, not a casual buddy."

2. Asking, "Do you need change?" when a server picks up a guest’s check with cash. Diners considered it presumptuous or thought it was an effort to get an extra-large tip — so they left less in protest. Most servers will tell you they’re only trying to avoid an unnecessary trip back to the table.

3. Checks brought too soon irk many readers; most interpret it as a sign the restaurant wants them to leave quickly. I prefer an early check because it sucks to be waiting around with a restless child or five just to pay the bill.

4. Sortofa food safety one — wiping down tabletops and chair seats with the same dirty cloth all over the dining room

5. Loud music or televisions. Agreed. I can do that at home. Cause I like to party.

Customer can’t get south of the border, shoots Taco Bell staff

It must suck to work in food service. Minimum wage, nerds like me telling staff to pay attention to food safety, and occasionally getting shot at by customers.

A man who was refused service around three in the morning by staff at Taco Bell on the outskirts of Miami waited outside in his white sports utility vehicle and when staff exited, he shot and wounded one female employee in the leg.

The victim was treated at a local hospital. Police are asking for help with their inquiry.

Hong Kong chef attacks complaining customer with meat cleaver

A chef in a Hong Kong noodle bar was facing a jail term Friday after admitting attacking a woman with a meat cleaver when she complained about his food.

A 47-year-old woman grumbled about the meal she was served, so Cheng Chi-wai, 50, ran into the kitchen and came back with two meat cleavers, leaving the woman with a fractured skull and a 6-centimetre long wound that needed 11 stitches. The chef was restrained by other customers.

At a hearing Thursday, Cheng — who has been fired — pleaded guilty to wounding with intent. He will be sentenced on February 18 after background and psychiatric reports are drawn up.