North Koreans ordered to produce impossible amount of human manure every day to help save agriculture

Fox News is not the, uh, most reliable source, but they report North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un has commanded every citizen to turn over an impossible 200 pounds of human manure a day for fertilizer in an effort to revitalize the communist country’s struggling agriculture.

The country’s leader first made agriculture the forefront of the economic recovery during the New Year’s address.

This led to the mass mobilization of the population to fulfill the government’s wishes and ensure the human manure quotas are met. If the people don’t meet their daily quota, they have to supply over 600 pounds of compost or livestock manure, according to Radio Free Asia.

“The entire population has been mobilized to produce manure as the first major task of the year,” a source told the outlet. “The authorities in each local region task factories, institutions and citizens groups with assigning production quotas to each individual.”

“They are demanding that each person produce 100kg of human feces per day, or about 3 tons per month,” the person added. “But how on earth can it be possible for one person to make 3 tons of human feces and deliver it?”

The absurdly-high quotas are forcing the people to either collect the human manure in cold or pay cash to others for the manure.

“Most people can’t [make or collect] 100kg per day, so they end up giving what they think is sufficient. The quota is therefore meaningless,” the source told the outlet.

More fairytales: Kim Jong Un is paranoid about food safety

The Dalai Lama isn’t the only one relying on antiquated methods of food safety.

kim-jong-il-team-americaEvery leaf of lettuce headed for North Korean leader Kim Jong Un’s dining table must pass meticulous inspection, and new food tests require the use of microscopes – signs Kim is paranoid about what he eats, according to a source.

North Korea’s June 17 Farm in the Yongsong district of Pyongyang exclusively produces fruits and vegetables for Kim and North Korea’s privileged class, South Korean news outlet Daily NK reported.

The farm was a gift from the late Kim Jong Il to his father Kim Il Sung in the 1980s. The greenhouses surrounded by mountains are known to grow North Korea’s finest fruits and vegetables.

Quality control, however, has never been as rigorous as it has become after Kim Jong Un fully assumed power in 2012.

North Korea’s “highest authorities” now scrutinize fruits and vegetables cultivated in the greenhouses, the source told Daily NK.

“Produce headed for Kim Jong Un’s table undergo a thorough cleaning. It then undergoes general, then specific inspections at a factory,” the source said.

Kim Jong Un'sFood safety is a particular concern for Kim Jong Un and the farm only employs young, single North Koreans in their twenties of good class standing. Nearly all workers are graduates of elite universities in Pyongyang, and they are responsible for carefully inspecting the produce for “germs, toxins and health hazards,” according to the source.

Kim’s field guidance visits, however, have not always run so smoothly.

The manager of a terrapin farm was reportedly executed, after Kim expressed his displeasure with its condition.


Home, free Laura Ling anxious for “fresh food”

This morning, I watched the live coverage of the return of American journalists Laura Ling and Euna Lee from North Korea with a grateful heart.

Ling and Lee were arrested while on assignment at the Chinese-North Korean border in March and sentenced to 12 years hard labor for "hostilities against the Korean nation and illegal entry."

"The past 140 days have been the most difficult, heart-wrenching days of our lives," Ling said at their homecoming, her voice cracking.

Lisa Ling said of her sister, "She’s really, really anxious to have fresh fruit and fresh food. She said there were rocks in her rice. Obviously, it’s a country that has a lot of economic problems."

I’ve heard it said that food safety sometimes has to take a backseat to food security. However, the agreed-upon WHO definition of food security is "when all people at all times have access to sufficient, safe, nutritious food to maintain a healthy and active life."

All food producers should recognize their responsibility to the world’s food security.

Those who don’t share my dream of feeding the world can at least recognize the value of safe food to paying customers, like the home and free Laura Ling. 

North Korea’s Kim Jong-il ‘eats live fish’ claims former chef; so do others

Kim Jong-il enjoys raw fish so fresh "that it is still moving" washed down with fine French wines and brandies.

Kenji Fujimoto, a 56-year-old chef, who is in hiding in Japan after fleeing North Korea, and is set to publish a book called I Was Kim Jong-il’s Cook, says,

"He particularly enjoyed raw fish so fresh that he could start eating as its mouth is still gasping and the tail is still thrashing. I sliced the fish so as not to puncture any of the vital organs, so of course it was still moving. was delighted. He would eat with gusto."

But a reader says,

I was an English teacher in South Korea a couple of years ago, and one of my colleagues once told me about how she was treated to a dinner with something similar. The fish was still live, but laid out on the plate with its side cut into sashimi pieces. She said the fish looked at her while she contemplated digging in (I don’t think she did, in the end).