Boys should urinate outside to stimulate the compost pile; girls, your pee is too acidic

Sometimes, when I wake up in the middle of the night, and don’t want to disturb Amy and Sorenne in our small space, I’ll go pee off the back deck.

I also don’t flush the toilet when I pee, unless I’ve eaten asparagus. Cameron Diaz would approve and say I’m saving the planet.

Gardeners at a National Trust property in Cambridgeshire are urging people to relieve themselves outdoors to help gardens grow greener.

A three-metre long "pee bale" has been installed at Wimpole Hall.

Head gardener Philip Whaites is urging his male colleagues to pee on the straw bale to activate the composting process on the estate’s compost heap.

He said the "pee bale" is only in use out of visitor hours, since "we don’t want to scare the public".

"There are obvious logistical benefits to limiting it to male members of the team, but also male pee is preferable to women’s, as the male stuff is apparently less acidic."

"Adding a little pee just helps get it all going; it’s totally safe and a bit of fun too."

As David Wilcox sang some 30 years ago,

Do it in the country they like it just fine
Do it in the city it’s a $20 fine
Hot hot papa

Batman hit by Hong Kong pollution

Producers shooting the new Batman movie have, reports The West Australian, been forced to cut one scene involving the caped crusader – played by Christian Bale – jumping out of a plane into Hong Kong’s famed Victoria Harbour.

The South China Morning Post was cited as saying producers felt the poor water quality was just too dangerous for the action hero when shooting for part of the film takes place there in the coming week.

A source was quoted as saying, “There was supposed to be a scene where Batman jumps out of the back of a Hercules C-130 and into Victoria Harbour. The plan was for Batman to be seen jumping into the water and then climbing up some bamboo, or something similar, onto a pier. But when they checked a water sample, they found all sorts of things, salmonella and tuberculosis, so it was cancelled. Now the action will cut to inside a building."

A spokeswoman for Hong Kong’s Environmental Protection Department was cited as admitting that harbor water was not suitable for swimming due to untreated sewage.