But I can’t hold my farts: Florida woman arrested after fight with husband over farts

Who hasn’t been in this situation after so many, uh, blissful years of marriage.

fart.fightFlorida woman Dawn Meikle, 55, was lying in bed with her husband, Donald, just after 3 a.m. on Dec. 11, 2015 when she “elbowed him in the arm” for passing gas between the sheets.

When Donald ignored her pleas to hold the farts in Meikle began to kick him until he eventually got out of bed, according to police records.

But after clearing the air — literally — Donald hopped back into bed. But then the flurry of flatulence continued.

Donald said his wife began another round of kicking and elbowing him, according to the affidavit.

Donald told police he tried to stop Meikle by restraining her “for his own safety.” He received scratches on his chest during the kerfuffle.

Meikle got a split lip but told police her husband “did not punch” her, according to New York Daily News.

“He was restraining me and somehow my lip got split open,” she said.

As the fight escalated, Meikle retreated into the couple’s bathroom and called police, using pepper spray to keep her husband at bay.

Police arrived and arrested Meikle. She was taken to the St Lucie County jail and charged with misdemeanour battery charges.