Chapman, what’s going on? North Carolina couple charged with assaulting each other with pizza rolls

A Gastonia couple were arrested early Monday morning after police say they threw pizza rolls at each other.

pizza.rolls.ju;16At around 1 a.m. Monday, officers responded to a home in the 3100 block of Spring Valley Drive in Gastonia.

When officers arrived, the couple told them they got into an argument that led to the tossing of pizza rolls. Brad Scott Beard, 24, and Samantha Brook Canipe, 21, were each charged with simple assault in the incident.

Sexual assault and hot peppers in New Zealand

Two men who allegedly forced a teenager to eat red-hot bongo chillies have been charged with assault in New Zealand.

Trinidad-Moruga-Sc_2140472bPolice did not detail the alleged crimes but the victim, an 18-year-old who cannot be named for legal reasons, recounted his ordeal to Fairfax New Zealand earlier this month.

He claimed a group of men assaulted him in a basement after an argument over a prank telephone call, punching him and forcing him to eat bongo chilli peppers.

The chillies, cultivated in Fiji, reportedly measure 100,000-350,000 Scoville heat units, compared to 3,500-8,000 for a jalapeno.

The teenager said he ate one but could not finish a second and was punished with a punch in the head.

“My insides were hurting, sweating, and I couldn’t see anything or even talk properly,” he said.

“Everyone was just laughing and watching.”

He said a man then pulled down his pants and grabbed his genitals. Police launched an investigation after he told his mother about the alleged sexual assault the next day.

But I can’t hold my farts: Florida woman arrested after fight with husband over farts

Who hasn’t been in this situation after so many, uh, blissful years of marriage.

fart.fightFlorida woman Dawn Meikle, 55, was lying in bed with her husband, Donald, just after 3 a.m. on Dec. 11, 2015 when she “elbowed him in the arm” for passing gas between the sheets.

When Donald ignored her pleas to hold the farts in Meikle began to kick him until he eventually got out of bed, according to police records.

But after clearing the air — literally — Donald hopped back into bed. But then the flurry of flatulence continued.

Donald said his wife began another round of kicking and elbowing him, according to the affidavit.

Donald told police he tried to stop Meikle by restraining her “for his own safety.” He received scratches on his chest during the kerfuffle.

Meikle got a split lip but told police her husband “did not punch” her, according to New York Daily News.

“He was restraining me and somehow my lip got split open,” she said.

As the fight escalated, Meikle retreated into the couple’s bathroom and called police, using pepper spray to keep her husband at bay.

Police arrived and arrested Meikle. She was taken to the St Lucie County jail and charged with misdemeanour battery charges.

Flying brisket injures woman during fight at Kentucky barbecue festival

Thanks for the reader who sent this along: police were called to the Kentucky State BBQ Festival at 10:15 a.m. Sunday after a woman was hit with a brisket during a fight, according to a police news release.

Mary Berry, 35, of Bardstown told police she was hit in the right shoulder, neck and head by a brisket whose temperature was estimated to be 200 to 250 degrees. She was working at the festival for Fire House BBQ, the news release said.

Berry was treated at the festival by Boyle County emergency crews.

The brisket allegedly was thrown by barbecue pit master Mike Owings, 42, of Cunningham after tempers flared between Owings and another barbecue pit master over the sharing of a cooker.

Owings admitted to officers that he threw the brisket after losing his temper but “didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt,” authorities said.

He was charged with second-degree wanton endangerment, a misdemeanor, and was being held in the Boyle County jail.

SC Taco Bell patron assaulted for not saying ‘excuse me’ after burping

Sorenne can burp and fart all she likes. As long as she says, excuse me.

Our walks home from school are usually populated with, “excuse me, I terrance.phillip.fartfarted.”

It’s that manners thing (and she is part Canadian, like Terence and Phillip).

According to The Braiser, 20-year-old Isaiah Morris was chilling in a South Carolina Taco Bell booth, eating with a friend, when an unknown male came up and asked if he “had just belched and not said excuse me.”

Morris then asked the man to repeat what he had just said, and the guy (allegedly) threw a chair at him, (allegedly) started choking him, and (allegedly) tried to head-butt him.

At that point a seventeen year old girl working behind the counter broke up the fight and got the aggressor to back off. He drove away, the police got only first-hand reports, and the security cameras probably didn’t capture the altercation.

I can’t embed the video, but the belching contest from 1984’s Revenge of the Nerds is available at Wasn’t John Goodman cute?

Fast food drives Americans crazy; Ohio woman wants her Chicken McNuggets

The story may be old, but, as noted by Faded Tribune, the video is new and over the top.

And they can’t seem to get enough of it on the news stations here in Australia.

Footage from a surveillance camera at a McDonald’s in Toledo, Ohio shows an unhinged woman punching two workers and smashing the drive-through window because she could not get Chicken McNuggets in the wee hours of New Year’s Day.

For the vandalism, 24-year-old Melodi Dushane was sentenced last month to 60 days in jail, three years of community service and ordered to pay more than $1500 for the damage. She said she had been drinking and suffers panic attacks, which she blamed for leading up to her rampage.

UK chef was tortured by broccoli

A member of staff at one of Britain’s top restaurants has been arrested after two chefs alleged they were assaulted while working in the kitchen.

Maybe this is what it’s like working for Gordon Ramsey.

One chef claimed he had his trousers set on fire with a blow torch and had red-hot pans pressed on his arms.

He also says he was stung on the back of his neck with nettles while making a nettle risotto and was beaten with a rolling pin.

He alleges he saw another chef being punished by being held aloft by his legs and having his head dunked in a vat of lukewarm broccoli and Stilton soup which was later served to guests at the Star Inn at Harome, North Yorkshire.

It was the first restaurant in Yorkshire to win a Michelin star.

Maybe those Michelin stars for fancy pants restaurants are as informative as restaurant reviews, food safety audits and financial ratings.

Australian baker faces fine over rodent trail, Listeria

A bakery owner in Adelaide faces a fine of up to $100,000 after being accused of continuing to sell food despite allegations of having rodents and a potentially deadly bacteria in his kitchen.

Tranh Minh Tran, of Kilburn, yesterday appeared in court charged with failing to comply with 19 conditions of the Australian and New Zealand Food Standard Code at his Woodville bakery.

The Port Adelaide Magistrates Court heard Tran is also facing charges of aggravated assault and carrying an offensive weapon amid allegations he threatened a Department of Health employee at his bakery last month.

The job of food inspector can really suck sometimes.

Adelaide Now reports that in court documents, the Port Adelaide Enfield Council alleges it immediately issued Tran with an order prohibiting him from continuing to sell food, but it was ignored.

It also alleges the inspectors also found rodent droppings and raw chicken stored at unsafe temperatures. Tran is accused of ignoring demands to employ a pest control company to rid the bakery of the rodents.

The council also alleges Tran was officially warned four times to clean his kitchen and comply with the food code, but failed to do so.

I said a quarter chicken not a whole chicken – unleash the oil

Borrowing medieval battle tactics, a 24-year-old Australian man poured boiling oil over his sleeping housemate last August because he bought a whole takeaway chicken instead of a quarter.

Today he was sentenced to six years in prison.

Justice Mark Weinberg said the man’s act was "of extraordinary violence bought about by your feelings of anger and resentment towards your victim. Yours was a cowardly act and one of great cruelty."

KFC condiment kerfuffle

A 26-year-old woman was arrested Wednesday night by police in Surprise, Arizona, after she allegedly tried to back over a KFC employee with her car because her meal was served sans condiments.

Surprise police said the woman was at the drive-through of a KFC when the argument began because employees failed to provide condiments with her meal.

She entered the KFC and had a verbal exchange with an employee about 7 p.m. Employees ordered the woman to leave the building and a KFC employee followed her out of the building and stood behind her vehicle to get a license plate number.

That’s when she apparently decided to put the car in reverse. And then she did it again.

The woman was arrested on suspicion of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and disorderly conduct.